Thursday, February 08, 2007

poink poink poink.

hmmm... i've been reading some of my friends' blog and i realised something. that i see part of myself in many other people. i can feel their sadness. i want to help but come to think of it. how?

friends that live with a mask on. friends that live to please others when what they are doing are really not what they wanna do. friends that keep everything to themselve. maybe because they dont see the point in sharing with others? because they thinks no one understands them?

yea the list goes on and on. and all of the above, shouldnt i be having the same problems too? so i am not alone. there are dark moments in everyone. i know. that explains all the weird paintings on my wall. sometimes i'll stare at them, not understanding why have i painted that. it was just something i wanted to do at that moment. but why such a sad picture?

but i think its about how a person looks at a matter. when i feel myself suffocating in the mask that im wearing, while my conscious mind is going into a coma, my sub consciousness is twirling. thinking and picturing. and a conclusion will appear. remove that damn mask for a while just to breath. thats when i show myself. sadly, people dont like it at all. so i'll have to put it back on. why?

seriously i dont know the answer. but i believe, one day i will figure it out. how to please myself and others. there has gotta be a way. positive ways. and it will lead me to true happiness. happiness that goes deep down into the core of my bones. something which i can still feel even when im sleeping. or maybe when im dead.

still thinking though......

Cries of attitudelamb at 9:20 PM