Monday, November 27, 2006
alright, actually i've had this skin kinda long ago. just dont have the urge to start using it. but i shall use it for a while because i think its really nice. gleee giggles snort fart. alright kinda pissed actually because mum just nagged at me saying brother and i had spent lots of her money. i was thinking should i take up a part time job? make life easier for her and me as well. i can be a spendthrif, buy whatever i want without giving a second thought. ok maybe later on i will start drawing circles in a corner and curse myself for wasting my hard earned kaching, but what's money meant for? spending. simple one word answer. yes. but i am a very busy woman. working and studying at the same time will screw my life even more. and if i do i bet i'll start chanting or learn some kinda spell that will make my day extend from 24hours to 48hours. woow, that will be blardy tiring but good because i'll have all the time in the world. AMEN!my brother's gonna get a desk top this week at the up coming IT road show. SITEX. yes and guess what. me, the princess of the house, will have the handover of the throne. (old bulky but useful laptop) yes this lappy will officially be mine. moahaha! which means i can put and store whatever crappish bullshit i want in it without much of a care. yeah! but hopefully this old fella wont cheat on me once it gets in my hands. dont just die out on me because the gonna-be-previous-owner is abandoning you. i will treat you with twice the care babeh! *winks*
alright about today, went for gems. learnt australian accent. was pretty much enjoying the show but why must that kokky sir always stop it half way. how annoying! we went fc4 for a bite, all ate the sambal fish with rice except for ivan and i was telling benjamin his ass will rot tonight. he just messaged me saying his ass is on fire. good for him. i've got a cursed but accurate fortune telling mouth. serious. come try me i'll charge at a reasonable price. hee. yes accounts was as usual boring. had assignment. fcuk care it man i aint gonna be bothered for now. i just wanna play.
accompany my bf to the ns HQ for his check up. haha! his has the FOU on it and everyone there we busy cursing. impt and he has the fastest check up ever. 50mins when its suppose to take 4hours. hey girl's with brothers of bfs, try telling them to do the same! keep postponing. haha! we went to tiong bahru plaza to jalan jalan after that. had a great timie!
okie im going to shower and slp now! *twist*
Cries of attitudelamb at 6:04 AM
Saturday, November 25, 2006
ooooo haven blog for sometime. booohooohooo. this week passed pretty quickly dont u think so? so far just gotten back two grades. not so good. just average and im not really glad with my results. argh. cant wait to get back the rest of it. yesterday when to rsyc. paid the bill for the ppcdl course for faz and myself. went out sailing on a keelboat and i almost fainted. the heat was ferocious. had a bad headache after that. came home to rest. i was the trimmer. well, its pretty fun. catches more wind than a laser and pico. and it moves at an average speed though there's just very light wind. hee. i like it.daddy came back last night. went to the east coast hawker for dinner. came home and chatted with my family. daddy only returns once in a blue moon. so when he does it time to shake the fortune tree. yippie. i wanna make him buy me a pair of shoes as i have none. hee.
today's sailing was cancelled. pretty pissed. i was looking forward to it. but some ppl turned up eventually and they got to sail. i wouldnt blame them as its not their fault becoz the message was posted up late. as usual. well too bad. and next week im working at the sitex so i dont get to sail again. freaking bad timing man. damn it.
xmas is coming soon. time really flies. just a wink of an eye and one year has passed. im getting older. i dont want to. and next year will be our attachment. thats fast and im scared. =( i wonder how it'll be like to step into the working life. meeting much older people who've been through so much more than us. *shudder*
alrightie, later i gotta go church. feeling kinda lazy but there's no escape man. =( and im still waiting for my dear friend AIN for the song lips of an angel and better than me BABEH! haha!! oh and a few more.
Cries of attitudelamb at 11:48 PM
Sunday, November 19, 2006
OOOOH RIGHT BABEHS!!! exams over man! chill. but im worried about the result. i screwed my FLOG thats all i can say. i hate myself but yet i still love myself! yeah! ok whatever. last paper was over, went over to RSYC to sign up for the ppcdl course. 230 bucks. paying next friday. then went for a movie with my girl friends at cineleisure. before that went to bukit timah for lunch but poor faz dear lost her wallet. chill babe, i've lost it before. its not the end of the world. just happen to be unlucky babe! u've got us so no worries yea. hee. anyway ya we watched step up and that show makes me wanna dance so badly. how i wish i know how to dance. such a nice body. hmmm.. ya so rushed home showered and met my secondary school pals for dinner at marina south. steamboat. it was filling man. to celebrate chong jia's birthday. the most hilarious part of dinner was when the lala squirted water at sabrina. its was really funny. haha! yea but im glad we met up. i miss them so much.
my secondary school clique. hee.. the notorious girl barbarians of hongkah. oops.
yeah, well and the next day i went to sentosa with my bitch, cheryl babe. haha! babe as in pig. hahahhahaha!! yeah with joachim. we had fun. getting burnt. yes. that crazy woman really funny, she was so hyper and when it ended she was so tired and pissed. seriously. haha. some crazy pictures we took.
smile!! cheryl and i, our killer smile! WAHAHAHA!
joachim and us. when its over.
yeah, we were all tired after the trip. on our way back in the bus something happened too. some muds, stupid gangsters. no offense to my beloved malay babes ya, but just refering to those bloody fools in that bus. i hate these kinda bastards and bitches. what they call minah or mina, hack la. and those guys who act so cool. totally disgusting. they wanted to fight or something so they called the police and the bus has to lock the doors and wait for the arrival of the police. those aunties were so naggy, cheryl that crazy woman belong to the same species. haha! she is so funny cant stand her nonsense.
ya and i slept that night, today went sailing. overslept. i was tired. burnt. dehydrating. terrible. didnt want to go because bloody grace pangseh me. stupid ass and i told everyone she has sore eyes. that bloody idiot. haha. but sailing was hell tiring today. made me even toasted. or cooked i should say. sailed lazer. i was so lousy. sailing was alright i assume but i cant pull myself on board after uprighting. really lousy. help, and maryann wants me to go for the lazer open competition. well i dont think i am going. dont want to. seriously im not ready for it. i'll tell her next week maybe she can encourage shiqi to go instead. haha!
ok tomorrow i have gems boring. but im going shopping with my bf after that. yeah. how lazy can i get. im going to bed soon. slp. i am actually half awake while typing this entry. so pardon me if there's any mistake. hee. *twist*
Cries of attitudelamb at 5:07 AM
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
EXAMS!!! WAH!!! but seriously man, so far i think all the papers are easy. though i am sure i made alot of stupid ridiculous mistakes but i am also sure its easy to pass. not for me but for everyone. really which ass will say its difficult? crap. today's FLOG. studied till 1.30 last night. now dont feel like studying. haha!right tomorrow last paper's at PM. ah i wonder what will be tested for practical. hopefully something easy. just knots will be great. haha. after school going out with the girls. evening meeting up my sec buddies for dinner. celebrate chong jiajia boonboon's birdieday. hehe. i miss my pals, haven seen them for so long and i really do hope that banana will go if not i will set her hse on fire. moahaha.
sat going sentosa with cheryl and probably joachim. celebrate her birdieday too. goodness nov is like hell so many birdiedays. ya having picnic. ah aha! have not told my mum yet. but i'll ge the sandwiches and maybe some snacks. hehe.. cant wait babeh!
alright i really have nothing to do, flipping through my notes. reluctant to read. meeting ain at 2. my god, 1 hr and 40mins left. so damn long. im bored.
Cries of attitudelamb at 7:50 PM
Friday, November 10, 2006
norch titus and jelly bean, my babies.love them so so much. ok i'll show u guys their picture one day alright? =)
ytd went out with dada, our 20th anniversary. yes i will think it over but u should know not to have high hopes as i've solemnly swore to myself. however ytd was the happiest time we had together. seriously. thanks baby for everything. its hurts to see u so hurt. it feels good to have someone loving u so deeply. i felt blessed. however we managed to put our problems aside last night and spent the night like we've just met. we did some shopping together, something which we seldom do in the pass. went for a show, the convenant, it was good wasnt it? went for a walk by the sea. so lovely. chit chatted and had dinner together. isnt it like such a perfect date? a date which we never had in the past? i was really the happiest woman on earth last night. right now when i think about it, i really hate myself for being so selfish. u are just so innocent. too good for me. really. but i cant repay your kindness and love, i hate myself. the one person whom i love most is myself yet the one person whom i hate most is also myself. so contradicting. anyway i'll think through my decisions. u are sick right now, i do pray hard u will recover soon.
that day was out with cheryl. no one is greater than her. she's the only one whom understands me and she's definitely a good wall to talk to. WAHAHAHA. ooopsie... hehe. but yes girl u are the godess. love ya. we went for a swim. then went to her place for dinner. her dad cooks good food. very healthy food man. i love it. yummilicious. then we went to catch a show together. the guardian. just like umizaru. some coast guard show. but its really touchy. we got scolded in the theatre as we were talking too loudly. the lady beside me was like,"excuss me can u guys please calm down." haha! i was like," oh, so sorry!" haha. so we were quiet through the whole show but that lady farted la, cheryl said twice but i heard once. disgusting bugger. remains me of the fart machine AIN!!! WAHAHAHA!
alright i just sent my gems essay. hope it isnt too late and that dumb benjamin. ain told me he thinks its a grp assignment so he did nothing. well good luck dumb ass. WAHAHAHA! im gonna study now. bad weather. looks like its gonna pour. *twist*
Cries of attitudelamb at 9:13 PM
Thursday, November 09, 2006
i've done it. but this is the last time i swear. i am never going back. never. its hell each time i do. and its hellier each time i try to. i did not only screwed my life but yours too. i've been selfish i am sorry. but being with you i am being more selfish because knowing that one day i will leave you again. i am holding back my feelings and emotions, i am not going to throw it out neither am i going to think about all the past because i know if i do i wont be able to control my humble self. right now my words are like pebbles being thrown directly at your heart, but u dont know each rock i threw are being thrown back at me with triple the strength. you do not trust me i understand. all the feelings u have for me and the thoughts u have about me i know them well too. it hurts when u say i talk like a bitch each time we quarrel, and it hurts when u say those nasty stuffs. but i know why u said all these. i am no better. but i do not call you a bastard or jerk do i? you say i speak arrogantly, but have u looked at the way you speak? its ok no one will ever look at themselves. they will only judge others. right now when i think about what u've said, i felt so hurt. is there anything i can do to stop these tears from flowing? is there any breakups that doesnt hurt a single bit? can someone just tell me what i should do? can i share my feelings with someone without gaining any pity or nasty remarks? what am i to do now? i just ended a close to two years relationship. and i wasnt ditched by him, i initiated it. so who is the bad one here? me isnt it? its my choice but why am i feeling so miserable? he hates me now. thats a very painful word. but i know he must be feeling worse. because it is obvious he loves me more than i do. we came from two worlds apart. his friends must have hated me, i know. neither do my friends like him. why?does all relationship end up this sour? but at least now i felt a sense of relief. no more fear of hiding from my parents. seriously its best to be with someone whom your parents agree to. because it will be a happy and carefree relationship. serious. what should i do now? i dont know. i cant imagine living without him because i am so use to having him around, even though i can ignore him for so long but i know he is still there. but this time it feels different, he is no longer there. he's going to move on. he is not coming back i know. a part of me feels relieved yet the other half is crying for him not to go. i cant imagine whats the future like. i am afraid to wake up crying and having nightmares of losing him. but still its my decision isnt it? i can choose to be with him forever but right now i am going to let go. i know i have to. i am going to write out all my sorrows on a wall, i am going to stamp it with my blood. but i will let the rain wash it away while my feelings flow with the washes down blood. i dont want to hear anything right now. neither do i want to see anything. i am not going to do any work either. i will go kill my feelings now.
Cries of attitudelamb at 12:11 AM
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
bloggy bloggy, backie wackie. man, today is the fourth day of elearning. and elearning really suck. seriously and i hate it. pui! finished all but left with the fireworks and the MCQ for marine engineering, cant access though.later i'll be going swimming with cheryl. most likely if it doesnt rain. but it is definitely impossible as the sky is so greyish. hehe. anyway, her daddy's cooking dinner its kinda embarrassing to join but since she's my bestie i shall go. hehe.
have been doing my gems since morning till now. finished actually. hmmm i feel like studying now actually but you dont know how lazy i am man! maybe later, i feel like taking a nap now, seriously. but i just had my lunch so i cant nap. so piggy.
haiz anyway sometimes i really just feel like migrating oversea. i regretted not agreeing to go germany. how i wish i could turn back so alot of things wont be happening. sometimes i will think am i the only one in the world who has this kinda rubbish problems which seems so easy to solve yet i cant solve it. oh god please enlighten me. but i've sweared not to care anymore. i'll just be myself. selfish, yeah whatever.
Cries of attitudelamb at 10:13 PM
Friday, November 03, 2006
rise and shine everyone goodie morning.. rightie, today gonna go study with my friends. kaur, faz, nut and ain. exam's the following week man. next week elearning. and i know nuts about what im studying. damn.on thurs i met cheryl and we had dinner together at vivo city. shopped a little. i like the clothes there but its kinda ex man, no money. we bought some undies. cute lil undies. hehe. anyway we had our dinner at the food republic. fcuk man, i will recommend no one there! haha.. we ordered the mixed vege rice and damn mine cost 5 bucks and cheryl's wahahhaha, 7.5 bucks. she was busy cursing and swearing. laughing my butt out! LOL. but the best part of the day was, when the two of us bought yakult and papa beard and when we sat by the sea side to chat. lots to talk to each other. catching up. talked about her life, friends and her trip to bangkok. hilarious. haha. had a great and wonderful time. i always feel good when im with her. always feel like im being myself and i dont have to put up a mask in front of her. i can fart burp vomit or wadever shit without caring if she minds or not. wahaha, ok not that disgusting but i bet she will too. WAHAHA! and thanks babe for the gifts u got me. i love them lots. *huggies* thanks for always being there for me girl. =)
ytd went to help dada pack his stuffs. goodness gracious its a cloud of dust. haha! then went to cut my hair. not much of a diff my mum said. but its kinda little now. i kept the length though. next week gonna help him pack more as he is moving soon. then we shall go shopping together! moahaha..
rightie, mummy's gonna cook lunch. hmmm.. kinda hungry. and i cant wait to start studying. dont know why. maybe becoz i know nothing and thats what pushing me to learn about it. haha. but now its just food in my mind. FOOD! *twist*
