Friday, January 26, 2007
im really bored now and my tummy is throwing a tantrum. its like as if my gastric acids has flowed down to my rectum and chewing the inside out. freak. anyway i just went to the loo to force the crap outta me. i shant go into further detail as its really gross.yesterday i watched sawIII at my bf's house and that show is gruesome. i kept thinking about it and the disgusting and cruel scenes kept replaying in my mind. that master mind, john, is really a genius. cruel, smart, brilliant to think of such tricky and sure-die games. really bloody show. i like it.
in the evening i went to grace's house for aizhen's birthday. they are really jokers. because aizhen is turning 18 this year so they rented m18 shows. official for her to watch. oh its her only! not all of us. haha! but we watched together eventually. went home at around 10.30pm.
anyway i think mummy has finally agreed to let dada and i be together. i think she is rather reluctant though and has given up hope to stop us from seeing each other. too bad mum. haa! but the tricky part is daddy and relatives. those are hell. i aint gonna bother much now. its my life. live it the way i want it. im going to hell though. god aint gonna forgive my rebellious and barbaric behavior. but still i'll try to be an angel and me the best of me.
might be going to orchard later with my clique of buddies. hopefully it will not rain. exam's over people, its time to celebrate! but attachment will be coming soon so we must have all the fun we can have before we step into the world of workaholics. one life live it. =) *twist*
Cries of attitudelamb at 7:43 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
alrighty, now's the exam period. the third paper was today. so far we are done with accounts, navigational safety and marine engineering. tomorrow will be freight and logistics and lastly on friday will be ship knowledge. man, i really cant wait for the holiday to start because our attachment starts on the 26th of feb. hopefull i can at least pass my ppcdl theory before i start work. i have not even gone for my medical check. how irritating as the bloody polyclinic didnt want to accept my plea to just give us an eye check as they insist that they can only do certain driving medical reports and that does not include ppcdl. whatever rubbish. money rolling in but they simply tossed it away. FOOLS! sadly i have to go to the private clinics instead. what a waste of money as i'm really broke right now. brother's 21st birthday is coming soon. i heard there's a class chalet next week. this saturday going sentosa for aizhen's birthday. the revenue aint enough to cover the losses. business will eventually close down. and that means i'll be really broke to the extend that i have to chop off my fingers and sell them to the garang guni. sigh.today's mummy's birthday and yet she seem so sad. because my elder brother took MC today as he is sick. well, mummy's angry because he is always staying home playing games instead of going out to do some work outs to keep his body healthy and fit. on the other hand, she is unhappy because that monster and i still have not spoken a single word since the horrifying unforgettable day. well, i aint gonna speak to that man unless he apologize. i swore my vengence. so long sucker.
dada just passed his second practical. im sad as i really do not like the idea of letting him have a motor licence. isnt it a one way to hell? ok not hell as in death. what if one day something happens to him, what should i do? youngsters now adays, they will say its just a form of transportation, for convenience. but once u get it, its a different story. i trust he will not go back on his words and i hope he will not either as i really really dont like it at all.
met daryl in school just now, got shot listed to attend the first aid life saving course? for free!! yeah, 15th to 17th feb. i wonder how its like. i love attending courses and getting certified. i learnt how important these certifications are when you step into the working world. what makes u different from all the other graduates are these extra skills that u have that none other has. thats what makes a person stands out and thats what attracts the big bosses out there. =)
okay, i gotta go wash up, maybe take a short nap or maybe i should just jump straight to my revision. tomorrow's paper is hell. i really wanna score well for it as i did pretty badly for the same paper the previous time. i want at least a distinction for the semester. just one distinction should be easy ya? yes i can do it! =) *twist*
Cries of attitudelamb at 11:30 PM
Saturday, January 13, 2007
feeling kinda out of place now. maybe its just an emotional reaction while listening to the songs playing in my playlist right now. i've been watching the anime school rumble since last night and for the whole of today. kinda tired but i'm almost through it. left a few more episodes to the end of the second season. i cant wait for the third season. hehe.
yup this is the anime which i've been watching. =)
this is the female lead, tenma tsukamoto. kawaii!
this guy here is the male lead, harima kenji. he's so damn cool!!!!!
ok i know its so not me to be crazy over this kinda anime but somehow during the last three weeks of holiday i seem to have fallen in love with this kinda comedy and romance anime. its really hilarious. plot of this anime is basically about this delinquent, harima, who fell in love with the cute and innocent, tenma. so he has been trying to confess to her but each time he tries to do so, tenma will mistook his intention and always assuming he has fallen in love with her close buddies. thus she tries to help him, the more she does the more trouble headed harima feels. ya i dont wanna go on anymore, if not i may have to type a few hundred pages as i'll go into every detail of it. haha!
oooooooooorightoh. im spending the whole of my saturday at home. this is killing me. later i wanna sneak out of my house to meet my bf maybe. and to start shopping for a gift for him. 18th birthday coming. pounding my head as i really dont know what to buy. ah! moreover i'm somehow or rather broke. sobs. but still, i will not let u be disappointed DADA! =)
yeah, about the interview ytd, it went pretty ok. 750 per month? or more? for an attachment. hmmm, money isnt everything. more like the experience that we are after. maybe i'll get it, maybe not. i will not cling on to high hopes as the impact of the fall will be greater if the result turns out sour. hee. there are many oppotunities beckoning me. anyway they will call us by monday if we get it. so im on stand by mood from now till the news is out. hee.
exams coming soon. just another week and TA DA!!! im worried. i have not study for anything but right now i cant do it as my spongie brainie is heavy, it has absorbed alot of stuffs. as in water. meaningless thoughts of all kinds of crazy shit. i will squeeze it dry just before i start my revision next week so i can absorb more. knowledge and not water this time. hee.
alright, maybe i'll just watch a few more eps before i shower and head out. *twist*
Cries of attitudelamb at 12:33 AM
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
i hate u i hate u i hate u i hate u. i will never forgive u. i hate u. how do u feel having someone ready to stab u right in front of u? if not for my mum i would have died. forget it, i dont feel like blogging already. suddenly dont have the mood. im sorry dear for not understand u. u are trying hard to make me happy. haiz. but. nevermind. i feel like disappearing right now. i feel so sad. i hate everyone. i swear i hate everyone. dont ask me if i hate u because right now i hate everyone. i am being selfish. fuck care. i just hate everyone. no one will understand. they hate listening i know. they dont really care how u feel. just wants to please u and tries to make u happy. maybe they do care, but in the end they only care more about themselves. just dont want u to be sad. and soon u will be forgotten. the sorrows u are having will be forgotten and they expect u to be pleased already. and when u are still grouchy and sad they will be frustrated. but i appreciate. i will not blame them. its not their fault. i get irritated too when someone keeps feeling down. its affecting everyone around u. those innocent ones who has nothing to do with it. nothing to do with your sorrow. so i dont think its a good idea to share your pain. just your happiness. keep you sorrows to yourself. nobody likes it. even i myself hate it. i hate myself for affecting everyone around me. my moodless aura is making everyone upset. im trying to be happy but i cant. i feel really tired. my eyes feel salty. my arms' aching. my head hurts. but i dont really feel the pain. i console myself. i dont want sympathy. i dont need them. i dont want love either. i just want to be alone. i need to be alone. i hate everyone. i will not speak about it anymore. i dont want to speak about it anymore. i want to sleep. hopefully never wake up again.Cries of attitudelamb at 5:34 AM
Monday, January 01, 2007
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
- Be happy, lesser tears.
- Do well for my exams.
- Get along well with any company which i'll be attached to.
- Work during the 9 weeks break.
- Maybe if God loves me, let me slim down a lil. JUST A LIL BECAUSE I JUST LOVE MYSELF.
- More sailing!!! Gain more experience.
- Buy new clothes and bags.
- Save money.
- Get my ppcdl.
- A rocking year with my love ones. Family, Dada, Girl friends. =)
alright im so excited.. its a new year peeps. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! school starts next week. left a lil of gems to complete. did some research though. could really find what i want. its kinda irritating. IT business did some but still not completed. Nav safety gonna complete this wed. Accounts is settled. ah, at least one that sets my heart as ease. not. practically copied and learnt nothing. sigh. im kinda worried. i know nuts about anything. its our final year paper. im scared. i dont wanna do well. GPA at least 3. maintain. i dont wanna deprove but apparently i aint working my brain and its becoming fats which will contribute to the massive weight gain. bad. very bad. ok i aint gonna think about it now. i'll continue with me research tml. im going to bed. really tired!! *twist*
